


Nighttime hues

by ajproctor



Category: Wentworth (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:40:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28056285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ajproctor/pseuds/ajproctor
Summary: Basically, Joan and Marie are in love 😌
Relationships: Joan Ferguson/Marie Winter
Comments: 3
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

Nighttime hues poured into Marie’s cell, reflecting off the walls with a new found burst of life. It gave her a nostalgia she would always hold close and so she breathed out in front of her mirror, feeling it flutter in her stomach. 

There was still an emptiness she longed to fulfil. Perhaps it was the curling up with someone as the wind rattled against the windows, only feeling the warm draft of flames that burned lightly behind them. It reminded her of the autumnal nights leading up to Christmas. It was nice. 

Behind the fragile sea within Marie’s eyes, Reb stood by the door, watching the way she examined her memories like she was cradling them. He didn’t want to disturb her but then he saw her smile and step away, greeting him like she did. 

"Just came to say goodnight", Reb put his left hand in his pocket, moving his hair back with the other. There had seem to be a release of Marie’s deep thought, she seemed relaxed now. She kissed the top of his forehead and he grinned with full cheeks. "Goodnight. Sleep well", she slipped a hand on his shoulder before he patted it and walked out, feeling a strong sense of love from Marie. 

Marie saw him go, catching a glimpse of Joan who calmly strode into her cell, not taking the time to notice her back. She didn’t feel the tenseness she thought she would when seeing her though. It was more of a longing. She had wanted to reach out for a few days now but Joan seemed occupied and besides - their last meeting hadn’t been a good one. 

Marie was transfixed on the last traces of Joan after she was out of sight and Reb noticed, peering his head back out of his cell and gesturing for her attention. "Hey Marie". They locked eyes as Marie turned and Reb looked towards Joan’s cell. "Go talk to her", he encouraged knowingly. 

Breathing deeply, Marie nodded and went briskly but then hovered over the door handle. She clutched it before letting go and deciding to knock. Seeing Joan lift her head up through the glass, Marie opened the door, finally seeing her clearly. Her features were still gentle, perhaps with a touch of reality now that she had regained her memory. She had let her ponytail free so her hair ran down the front of her chest as far as it would go over her dressing gown, some strands falling onto her tank top which Marie also found herself gravitating towards. 

It seemed she had caught Joan off guard but Joan kept a civil act, putting her hands upon her lap. "Hello Marie". She sounded calmer than Marie had anticipated and so Marie let her shoulders down a little, not wanting to appear anything more than strong in front of the new, villainous character of Joan. As villainous as she may be, Marie still wasn’t sure. 

She let a friendly smile pass her mouth as she looked down at the older woman. There was something about her that made her naturally react that way. She didn’t know if it was attraction, in a strangely platonic sense or whether she just wanted to protect her after seeing how she was as Kath. She was interesting to say the least. 

"Hi. Um, I’m sorry about what happened. I shouldn’t have told Lou about the phone. I knew what you were going through and honestly... I just wanted to help Reb", she made it sound like she had trouble finding her words but the truth was that she had been planning this for some time. She knew she had a knack for winning people over and so used it to her advantage, even as the person she was or at least hoped she was today. 

Joan listened then looked uninterested when Marie stopped talking. "I know". Joan made it sound like Marie had been unnecessary in worrying about upsetting Joan. A smile crept onto her own face, the creases appearing at the corners of her eyes; a genuine awe in her blackened eyes that became like clouds when looking at Marie. 

"Don’t worry, Marie. You didn’t... you didn’t ask Lou to do what she did. It’s fine", she assured the beautiful woman in front of her, though she wasn’t sure why she was making such a fuss about how she felt. There was a part of her that wanted to tell Marie that she had felt hurt. That she had kept an eye on her and quickly recognised the connection she and Reb shared and so let it go. 

Deciding to keep it to herself, she moved upwards on the bed and then held her palm out for Marie to sit beside her. Marie took the opportunity and felt the softness of the atmosphere, similar to how she had craved. Joan was as gorgeous up close as she had remembered, though the last time they had sat like this... ended in a manner that had left them both stunned. 

"I haven’t seen you around much. How have you been?" Joan asked. It was a change to how things had been before. Back when it was Marie making sure Kath was okay. Though she liked how the tables had turned. "Oh I’ve just been keeping my head down, keeping to myself, you know. Other than that, I’m good. How about you?" Marie had tried to search for some thread of vulnerability in Joan, though she feared there was none. 

Joan shifted a little, thinking about her reply though to Marie, it arrived quite quickly. And she didn’t notice her shift at all. "The same", is all she said though she wanted to say more. If she wanted Marie as an ally, she couldn’t afford to be as open with her as she had been with Kath. Joan was in trouble now that her true identity had been awakened and she needed all the alliances she could get in order to at least stay afloat in here. 

Marie nodded, knowing Joan was holding back. Her surprised eyes wandered over to the mattress still on the floor from the night she had slept there. She remembered studying the lines of Joan’s hands that had eventually hung from the bed, her face smushed against the pillow deep in dream. Wanting to kiss those lips again... 

"I should return that", Joan mentioned, reaching to anxiously scratch the back of her neck, her grey locks curling around her arm as she did so. Marie recollected her going to steal it from the laundry and then found herself brushing her hands upon Joan’s, having her bewildered look overcome Marie with a loving sentiment. 

"Joan...", she remained stationary as there was nowhere else to look except for at Joan who she was admittedly, intrigued in. "We can do small talk but please know that I’m here for you, okay? You might be afraid to be around me now that you have your memories but it doesn’t change who you are in my eyes. What I saw in Kath, I see in you. I’m so sorry for everything that must have happened to you... but you don’t have to be alone".

Marie tried to explain the best as she could and received large eyes turn to normal as Joan still held back. She nodded though, let Marie hold her hands a little longer before gently slipping out of the warmth to lay back upon her pillow. "Thank you", she managed to say and Marie understood if she didn’t want to say anything more. She just needed to know one thing. 

"Do you remember being Kath?" 

"I do", Joan responded after drawing hesitant breath. They had both held their breath, waiting because they both knew what was going to come.

Personally, Joan felt like she had responded a little too quickly, finding the thought of her kissing Marie again to be something she wanted very much. She knew how Marie had been with her. How gentle, unlike anybody else in there. And on the outside for that matter. She thought about how Marie had been nervous about approaching her in the worry that Joan was going to be mad at her. She found it to be sweet. Maybe she was being too naive for her own good. She had learnt things about Marie’s past here and so had come to understand why Marie had made the connection between them. But like Marie, she wasn’t going to judge her for it. In fact, Joan was about to intertwine their hands again when she perked up at a reluctant Vera standing at the door.


	2. Chapter 2

The two women were close. She hadn’t realised they were friends and gulped at the sight, feeling slightly nauseous. Joan had pulled away from Marie so they had defiantly been doing something.

Vera pulled herself together and huffed, giving Joan a glare. "I’ve come to give you a message from doctor Miller. He wants to see you first thing in the morning", she told her. Joan nodded once. She took it as a signal to leave but didn’t want to. 

Her feet had stuck to the ground, she turned her attention to Marie. "It’s getting late, Winter. You should be getting to your own cell soon", she said as patronisingly as she could. 

Vera quickly left, not wanting to cause any more attention to herself than she already had, though she could feel it in her gut that she had been replaced and that both Marie and Joan knew what she had been thinking. 

Replaced? She re-evaluated, getting faster as she rushed back to her office, ultimately realising that she was jealous. 

"She’s right, you should go and get some sleep", Marie just watched Joan. For someone who was so tough, she was so delicate sometimes as she slid off the bed and graced the door. She could tell Joan had used this as an excuse not to let herself do anything she might regret so she did as Joan had implied, looked up at her once she had reached her. 

The tension was intoxicating; Joan felt so giddy around the smaller woman, her eyes trailing down the blonde wisps of hair which fell from behind her ears, her lips that she remembered to be so soft and her eyes like unrecognisable blue skies as she associated them with a happiness she only felt when being with her. 

She almost fell into the words Marie spoke after the moment of admiration. "What’s with you and Miss Bennett?" Marie asked, a twinge of innocence in her voice. Joan swallowed hard, wondering if she should get into it or not. Marie wasn’t stupid. She wouldn’t put it past her to have guessed and she clearly had so Joan wandered back over to the bed as she replied, sitting down straight as she had done before, palm in palm. 

"We have... had... a difficult relationship”, she began, allowing Marie to listen and make her way over. "What sort of relationship?" 

Joan sighed, not knowing whether it was out of nervousness, recollecting her past anger or just tiredness. She wanted to be mad at Marie for asking so many questions but looked across to the wall to help her concentrate so she could answer. 

"When I was governor, me and Vera formed... a bond. I was her mentor and it soon escalated into a more complex dynamic. Long story short, i did something that I am still trying to understand the reasoning behind and I have found myself to still be coping with the aftermath of her own deception”, she took a breath to collect herself and looked down. She was still piecing things together day by day and so talking about it out loud felt both freeing and terrifying. 

"I think... I think we hurt each other a lot. I think we are... or were... not good for each other”. 

She closed her eyes when she felt the gentle touch of Marie’s hand motioning up and down her back, much like how that night had started. It’s what she had wanted ever since but she didn’t think she knew it. 

"So you were lovers", Marie summarised and Joan nodded slowly. She couldn’t keep avoiding the question and almost felt Marie’s empathy sit within her. 

It was Marie’s turn to sigh and Joan felt an awkwardness as Marie hugged her but lightly; she was careful not to overdo it but she wanted to be close to Joan who was clearly hurting. She was glad when she felt Joan shrink down a little, slowly spreading an arm around Marie. 

She began to hope that Marie could be someone who stayed. Why else would she trust her so much with personal information? She melted into Marie’s hand that had rested upon her beating chest. ”I won’t hurt you like she hurt you", Marie said which birthed an optimistic yearning in Joan. Though she couldn’t help but to self destruct in the short moment of bliss. "I hurt her first... it’s what I tend to do with those I care for”, she tried to pass it off as laughable, turning away but being forced to look back at Marie who took her face as if to kiss her but instead gazed sadly. "I don’t care. Whatever you did, it can’t have been all bad. I’ve seen her. She is not in the same pain that I’ve seen you in for months. It sounds like you’ve been in a lot of pain for a long time and I want to fix that. I want to love you someday. Real love like you deserve”. 

Joan trembled slightly. Nobody had took the time to structure such a perfect response to what Joan saw as oversharing. She wondered if Marie was telling the truth but she had learned to read people so well. There was such a huge part of her that could let Marie in. To love her too in the way that Marie had described. They needed each other. Joan needed her. 

Soon realising that Marie had began stroking a soft patch of Joan’s face, she placed her own hand on top and settled into a more loving regard, letting Marie know that she had accepted her. Marie looked happy which made Joan happy. She became ecstatic when Marie’s eyes grew eager. "Can I kiss you?" She asked and Joan nodded almost straight away. 

A calm began to build a home in Joan’s stomach after Marie’s hand pressed slightly harder on Joan’s cheek. Her lips brushed on hers so delicately and she welcomed the warmth with all her might. Marie was hers there was no doubt about it and so she wrapped both arms around her, deepening the kiss and liking the feel of Marie smiling into it. 

When they had done, a new glow found its way around Joan, different to the one she had felt the first time this had happened. She wasn’t as low as she had been, she hadn’t encouraged the interaction based on how lonely she had felt in that moment as Kath. 

Marie felt the same. The usual eeriness of the prison was now filled with peace as the two of them laid down, Joan pulling the covers over them both and bringing Marie close. Joan’s body felt so warm against hers, especially when they brought their arms round each other and kissed a few more times before falling asleep under the dim midnight radiance.


	3. Chapter 3

It was definitely an improvement for Joan - letting Marie sleep with her in bed rather than on the mattress. The beds were so small and Joan didn’t like the close contact but with Marie she found herself forgetting. 

There had been many times throughout the night where she woke up in a daze and felt indifferent to Marie who looked so peaceful, like a baby in Joan’s arms that had grown heavy but she kept her posture for Marie’s sake. 

She couldn’t be selfish, not this time so she tried to settle, finding the love she felt for Marie so she could keep herself in place. 

As the pale light shifted itself into the day, Joan felt herself choke up inside, a dullness in her head from tiredness that she couldn’t shake. Staying silent, she looked down once more at Marie, which felt like the millionth time. It was like she couldn’t stop and she didn’t want to. She didn’t believe she had ever been this happy, even with the lasting ache. If this is what it was going to be like with Marie, she didn’t mind the uncomfortableness. The kicking of Marie’s legs as she dreamt, assuming that Joan was dreaming too and the long breaths that lasted forever. Joan could live with that. 

Hearing people starting to move around, Joan sat up, in thought about how it would look if somebody was to walk in. Half waking up, Marie felt the empty space and reached out to skim her fingers on Joan’s arm, dropping them back onto the bed. "Hey", the sweetness of her voice brought the life back into Joan as she craned her neck round to see a sleepy Marie. "Good morning", she smiled. She didn’t want to appear as happy as she was but somehow it slipped out, capturing a glimmer in Marie’s eyes. 

"You look exhausted", Marie observed, staying on her side. Joan sort of shrugged and Marie pouted, bringing her lips to Joan’s cheek. "Have a rest. I’ll come wake you up when work starts, I’ll bring you food if you want", she offered to which Joan was grateful for. Marie scrambled off the bed and helped Joan get back inside it, kissing her temple and stroking it with the back of her hand. "See you in a bit", she stood up from kneeling down, seeing how Joan clung onto her for a second like a sick child. 

When she walked out, Reb was waiting. "It’s not what you think", she said straight away, knowing the look on his face all too well. He laughed at how Marie knew what he was thinking and held onto her arm. "Well? What happened? I take it you guys made up?" He persisted with the questions though Marie was happy to answer them.

Seeing Reb swoon over how romantic it all sounded made Marie’s cheeks flush for the first time in years, especially when he implied that she liked her. "Stop, I don’t want to talk about this with you", the mother in her felt weird about it and she avoided eye contact but pushed him aside for a second, not being able to keep it inside any longer. "Okay, maybe I do", she confessed. 

Reb jumped up and down excitedly which beckoned Lou to come over. "You have a girlfriend!" He chanted and Marie quickly put her finger to her lips to quieten him. She wanted to tell the whole world but she didn’t think Joan would appreciate it, at least not yet. "Do you mind if you don’t tell anyone? I think Joan wants privacy", she whispered and Reb nodded respectfully. 

"What’s going on here?" Lou’s usual tone calmed Marie’s ache to talk about Joan, Lou putting her arm around Reb and Reb putting his round her waist. "Just talking. Wanna go for breakfast?" Reb asked and Lou looked eager. "Yeah I’m starving, let’s go", she took him away and Marie followed, keeping a close distance. 

They approached the dining room. Lou and Reb went inside, Marie paused in front of Vera. "Where’s Ferguson?" She asked. God. It was as if she knew too that they had spent the night together. 

Feeling her fists clench up a little of the sight of the woman, Marie kept a civil tongue, keeping in mind that Vera will get what was coming to her sooner or later. "Still sleeping. It’s a wonder she can with everything she has on her mind lately. But hopefully soon she will find someone who can really help to relieve her of that stress, you know?" Marie couldn’t help it, irritation was rising inside her with every second that passed. 

"I have no idea what you’re talking about", Vera crossed her arms authoritatively. Letting out a sigh, she let them go again. "Make sure she wakes up. This is a prison, make sure you remember that", she said, almost viciously, marching off. 

Vera made her way to Joan’s cell, she wasn’t having any of it. She knew what Marie was implying, there was no way Joan could’ve told her about their past but if they were getting as close as they seemed to be, would she? Was this part of a plan, was she just stirring or were they really developing feelings for one another?

She would find out in a moment as she entered to see Joan curled up asleep in her bed. Her expression softened at the sight; it reminded her of how she often found her most mornings years ago... things were different so she shook her shoulder. 

"Joan. Joan, wake up". Joan heard Vera say her name and lifted her head. She thought she was still sleeping but rubbed her eye and saw that it was real. Vera was standing over her which made her seem taller than she was. She would be threatening if Joan didn’t know her so well. 

"And what did I do to deserve the pleasure of seeing your beautiful face first thing in the morning?" Joan’s sarcasm filled Vera with what she always felt when Joan spoke to her in such a way. Anger. 

She stood up from leaning in front of Joan and tried to look as stern as possible. She knew Joan saw straight through it but carried on anyway. "Get up, you know the rules". Joan raised her eyebrows, acting shocked at Vera’s change in personality, making a low "oooh". 

She sat up with the covers still over the bottom half of her body and squinted at Vera as if studying her. She was still pathetic. "Nothing you say will get me to do what you want", she stated. "I could sue for what you did. Mistreatment of a prisoner. Tut tut". Joan smiled slyly. 

She was referring to the spit bag episode and Vera hated that. Spitting back, her arms crossed as she stood in a powerful posture. "And you’re such a victim aren’t you? Stop the fucking guilt trip Joan, I know what you’re doing. And I know you and Winter are up to something so just give it up because we’re all tired of your stupid games". 

Joan tilted her head to the side when Vera mentioned Marie. She had to try not to laugh for Vera was such a try hard but kept her innocent apparition. "You’ve changed, Vera. So calculating. So... in control. It’s sad", she tried to throw her off, to get her wound up. She knew exactly what to do. 

Vera denied this information in her head. She had grown weary of Joan’s manipulation and so knew what she was doing. She pushed it aside and focused on what was most important to her. She knew Joan would make fun of her but she said it anyway, to get it out of the way and start concentrating on it. 

"Are you with Winter?” 

Silence shook the room with all its rigour as Joan looked thoughtful. She screwed her face up slightly, Vera’s hands grew clammy as she was squeezing them so hard in fists. "Hmm, you’ll have to be more specific, Vera", Joan gave her that look that made Vera want to walk away, she didn’t know what she would do if she didn’t. She didn’t. 

"Are you and Winter together as a couple?" 

Silence again. Joan hadn’t expected Vera to shout and the same smirk formed again. She was very amused by Vera’s jealousy and so decided to make this as dramatic as she could.

"Yes. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner but we really are very happy”, 

Joan waited for Vera’s reaction which was a lump in her throat which tightened up every muscle in her body. She was frigid and Joan took it all in, Vera could see Joan with the usual look of amusement and felt herself shake. 

"Aw. You’re jealous, aren’t you Vera?" Joan cooed and moved closer to intertwine her hand with Vera’s. Surprised, Vera held her stance, looking down at the slight embrace and then at Joan. Though it didn’t feel the same, something wasn’t right about Joan’s hand in hers anymore. 

"You’re not capable of loving someone", Vera started. "I’m living proof of that".

They separated, Vera frisking her hand away as if in disgust and taking a huge step back. How she ever loved this woman, she would never know. The room started to spin a little as Vera clung to the door handle, feeling herself about to slip though she wouldn’t.

Would Vera even feel like this right now if she wasn’t still in love with her? 

She walked out for real this time, unable to entertain her any longer. She certainly didn’t want to look at her, how her face looked when Vera had said those words.

She figured that it would be most likely that Joan was laughing at her and that she would tell Marie all about their encounter. What was she thinking, she couldn’t apprehend what had just happened yet there was a knowing in her head that her and Joan were truly over.


End file.
